1. Sleep with one of Snoop Dogg’s Cousins
Kim Kardashian made a sex tape with Snoop Dogg’s first cousin—boom—famous. She didn’t even have to sleep with Snoop himself, just the cousin of Snoop and boom, famous now. You probably wouldn’t even have to sleep with them either, you could just do some sort of creative collaboration with one of them...(Or you could just sleep with them.)
2. Get Married to Warren Buffett
Have you been buttering your own toast like a sucker? Marry Warren Buffet, you can hire people for that. Tired of chewing your own food? Wiping your own ass? The sky’s the limit, plus, Warren Buffet was in a weird three way marriage for years, so he's likely open to expanding his love triangle into a “love cube.”
3. Start Your Own Lottery
Let all the starry eyed suckers compete for the big prize money, while you siphon a small “management fee” for your troubles. Just don’t forget to do like the official lottery does and donate a small percentage of your management fee to children’s charities—after all, the lottery is for the children.
4.
God looks favorably upon he who giveth of their paycheck unto the church. Churches are tax exempt and the south has been begging for more religion in this country. Make America great again (but do it in the south though).
5.
It's not your fault the white house steps were
-poorly lit
-had a faulty hand railing
-were coated in cooking grease
$$$ Take your pick, then cash in $$$
6. Invent a Potion that Makes You Fly, Then Sell that Potion
Trust me, if you invent a human flight potion, people will buy it. You’d be an overnight millionaire for sure.
7. Sell Dick Enlargement Pills
Same sales strategy as the human flight potion, except it doesn’t even have to work for people to buy it!
8. Purchase the Rights to Before You Die Guy
A guaranteed success! Love all the great content we’re producing- the sporadic posting schedule, the low budget lighting and effects—this could all be yours! Send us a blank check and sit back, whilst the money rolls in!
This could all be yours!